drowning

*please please please please PLLLEASEE comment, im scarce in the comments department and could really use your guys' feedback*


Teri’s been here for a few weeks and we’ve been getting really close. We were never this close back home, I don’t know what it was. It was almost Christmas and Brooks was on another road trip for about a week or so, so it was giving us some quality time. She was talking about Brooks a lot, because they have been getting a bit close as well. A little too close for comfort in my opinion, it was really awkward, any chance she got she was flirting, and Brooks’ charming ways didn’t disappoint, she really liked him, and I wasn’t one to step in the way of love.

I will admit I’m a tad jealous. But it’s not what you think. I’m used to spending my time with Brooks and only Brooks, it was the reason I left Saskatchewan, for a change and to get away from the family, I really didn’t think Teri was going to stay this long, I love the girl, but she can get a little…annoying.

She was the baby, and I was surprised how well she was doing, how we were both doing since last month’s tragedy. I still had my bad days, but having two of my favorite people around, was perfect.

“Julie!” my sister exclaimed venturing from the spare bedroom.

“Yes?” I said keeping my eyes on my laptop.

“I’m going out with Brooks when he gets back” she replied. My eyes moved away from the computer to her. I swallowed a lump in my throat and clenched my jaw, “I’m happy for you” when I really wasn’t. But why wasn’t I?

-----

I sat on the couch, with my laptop where I haven’t left in the past few days, other than work. I was doing some work from home, it was still hard working around the office. Then, I saw them come in. Hand in hand, laughing and smiling. Brooks’ eyes met mine and he dropped her hand immediately.

“I didn’t know you were home” he said nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’ve been working at home for days Brooks, you knew that” I replied.

“I’m going to shower” Teri said leaving the room.

Brooks sat beside me and I just sighed shutting my laptop, “what?”

“You seem on edge lately, you ok?”

“I’m a tad stressed, I could get a promotion with this report. Dad‘s been on my mind lately too” I replied, “so yah, sorry if I’ve been snappy”

“I was just worried” he replied, “and I kind of need to ask you something”

“Shoot”

“I really like her Julie, and I want you to be ok with that”

I turned my head and looked at the wall. I don’t know why I didn’t like it, I just didn’t. My sister and my best friend, it just felt awkward…but I lied to him.

“Of course” I smiled, “why wouldn’t I be?” man I was good.

“Thanks” he replied wrapping his arms around me.

He stood up but I stopped him, “I swear if you so much as make her cry, I will make you cry. You know I have a hell of a right hook”

He put his hands up in defence and laughed, “I wouldn’t dare, plus I don’t want to feel the wrath of that right hook”

“Good, now I need to work” I replied opening my laptop again.

Brooks went to the other room and I did all I could to distract myself from my thoughts. As I typed my report, I found myself writing Brooks instead of books, and Laich instead of like. What the hell is wrong with me? I slapped my laptop shut and sighed, Brooks came back into the room and looked at me, “you ok?”. I just nodded, “I need a break”

I shut my bedroom door behind me and sat on the bed. Was I gaining feelings for my best friend? He’s been there through everything and I’m extremely lucky to have found him. I hated when he was gone on a road trip, I loved having his arms around me, hearing his voice, he had a smile that could make any woman go weak in the knees. Shit, I think this is worse than I thought.

-----

It was Christmas time and Teri was headed home. I knew this wasn’t going to be an easy Christmas, especially with dad gone. I know I sound selfish, but being back home would only make the pain worse, I decided to stay with Brooks this Christmas, Teri was going to stay with mom.

I came home from work, it was snowing and a little too cold for me. I opened the door finding Brooks underneath a pine Christmas tree, trying to stand it up.

“Need some help there?” I smirked taking off my coat and throwing it on the couch, kicking off my heels at the same time. I walked over and held on to the tree to make sure it stayed straight.

“Since when do you get a Christmas tree?” I joked.

“Since you’re staying here, I thought it would be proper” he replied standing up to check if it was straight. He looked it up and down and then he bent back down sticking his head under the tree. It was hard not to look at his backside sticking out, and I found myself looking a little too long. Why did I suddenly finally find him attractive, as soon as I know I can’t have him….

“You checking me out?” he smirked looking up.

I turned my attention in the other direction, “you wish Laich”

He just laughed and stood up. I stood beside him as he admired his work, “I think I did a hell of a job if I do say so myself”

I just nodded, “you have ornaments I assume”

“Yah, in the hall closet” he said pointing towards it.

I opened the door and pulled out the box marked Christmas. I set it on the floor in the living room and sat down with it, sitting on my knees, on account I was still in my pencil skirt from work. I opened the box and looked through it, he still had old Christmas stuff from back home. The last time we spent Christmas together, I was 18.

“You still have this?” I asked him pulling out an old gingerbread man ornament I had made for him before he left when I was 18.

“Of course!” he said excitedly taking it from my hand and hanging it on the tree, “it’s one of my favorite gifts”

“You’re such a liar” I said turning my attention back to the box. He sat down cross-legged on the other side of the box facing me. I pulled out a picture of us one Christmas when we were teenagers, he was 18 and I was 17, we were at a friends Christmas party completely hammered “wow, you were kinda scrawny back in the day weren’t you?” I joked.

He took the picture out of my hands and looked at it. He smirked as he stood up and put it on the end table next to the couch, “it’s seriously my favorite picture of us”

“Brooks, we were trashed” I laughed, “I look awful”

“But they were good times, you have to admit” he said sitting beside me this time.

“This is true” I smirked at him. He was sitting really close, and he was staring at me, and a part of me didn’t want to look away. I could feel his breath on my lips, and it was making me insane. What was happening to me? It took all my willpower but I turned my head and looked down at my hands.

“You want to finish?” I asked, “I need a shower” I couldn’t even look at him.

He just cleared his throat, “yah, sure thing. Go ahead”

I stood up and shut the bathroom door behind me. I stood against the door and drew in a sharp breath. I have no idea what is coming over me. I have to forget how I’m feeling and remember that he’s with my sister, and she adores him. I could never break her heart, especially when I told Brooks not to do the same thing. I had to ignore these sudden feelings I was feeling for my best friend. It was for the best.