drowning

Where the hell did that come from? Why would she ask me that kind of question?

“In love?”

“Yes idiot, in love” she replied.

“Yes” he simply said. Little did she know, I didn’t mean with her sister.

I saw her close her eyes and sigh, she sat back on the other side of the couch.

“Where did that come from Julie?”

“I don’t know”

“Like hell you don’t, what’s going on with you?” I asked her. I wish I knew what was going through that head of hers.

“My head is in a funny state. I just don’t know what to think”

I wish I could tell her how I felt. I just didn’t think it was a good idea. I knew she wouldn’t want to hurt her sister, even if she didn’t feel the same way, “do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really”

“Julie, you never close yourself off from me. What’s up?”

“I’m just tired Brooks” she said standing up, “I’ll be outside”

I watched her walk outside onto the back porch and lean against the railing. She was in a short denim skirt, a purple sleeveless blouse and in barefeet. She had both her fingernails and toe nails painted black. Her dark brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail. I could tell you every detail about her even if she wasn’t standing in front of me. Except for what was underneath. She had no idea how much I wanted to know…

I can tell you she has these light freckles on her cheeks and her nose, but she covers them up with makeup, she’s self concious. She has a birthmark on her back, near her left shoulder. She has a scar down her back, from when she climbed a tree when she was younger and caught herself on a branch. She broke her arm when she was 14, from falling out of a tree and got her appendix out when she was 16, which leaves a small scar on her stomach. Her blue eyes are a shade I’ve never seen before, and when she smiles it makes me feel warm inside, as cheesy as it sounds. She has the cutest nose, and lips I wish I could kiss every second of every day...

She’s fearless, opinionated, loud, clumsy, hilarious, sometimes obnoxious and arrogant, but overall one of the sweetest girls on the planet, but I would never try and get her angry, because she has a mouth on her and a hell of a right hook. She hates summer and winter but loves the spring and fall. She loves the sun but hates the beach. She couldn’t hurt a fly if she tried and she hates insects in general. Her favorite color is pink, she doesn’t have a favorite food and she absolutely adores hockey, and sports in general.

I could go on and on about this girl, but it would take me forever to describe everything that I love and hate about her. Overall, there is not one thing I would change, and I just wish I could get up the guts to tell all this to her face, and tell her that I am absolutely, unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her.

“Brooks?” I heard her say.

“Yes?”

“You ok? You were spaced out”

“I’m fine”

She just smiled and made her way to the kitchen. I just sighed and rested my head back on the couch. I couldn’t keep this in anymore, there must be some way I can tell her.

“Julie?”

“Yah?”

“I need to say something”

She wasn’t facing me, which made it slightly easier.

"I love you”

She almost broke the glass in her hand but set it down gently before turning to face me. I stood there innocently as if I hadn’t done anything.

“You…what?”

Shit, what was I doing? I couldn’t mess this up between us.

“I love you…I mean you’re my best friend”

She replied with a sigh of relief but then she looked at me raising an eyebrow.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Just a sudden urge” I mumbled. Wow, did I actually just say that?

“Oh…ok” she said turning back to face the sink. I left the room and started hitting my forehead with palm of my hand. This girl had no idea what she was doing to me.